The Holy Grail of a good, not perfect, marriage is attainable if you want to create it. It might not work, but starting over offers no guarantee of success either.
The boomers quest for the Perfect Union is bound to fail unless they challenge the underlying principle of the search. The divide can seem impassable. Throwing one away that has become drab over time may not be. According to the Office for National Statistics, the rate of divorce is falling in every age group except the overs.
Happiness and success in a relationship can never be based on the desires and expectations of only one of the partners. The baby boomers put an inordinate amount of time and energy into their children, not their marriages.
Leaving a truly bad relationship is a wise decision. It also frequently works against what people say they want. Because no matter where you go, you take yourself with you. So how do they get so unhappy that the only course they see open to them is to leave that same marriage?
What really gets to me though is the idea that the only options to an uncomfortable situation are either to sacrifice yourself to it or flee it. I would also argue they often have no idea what that is.
In fact, baby boomers told the Pew Research Center six months ago, they were less inclined to stay in an unhappy marriage than their children were: They stare across the breakfast table at the stranger looking back.
The bad news is making the necessary changes to be happy is solely on you.
Finding happiness in your current relationship, with a few exceptions, is up to you. Now Maria and Arnold. If you ask people on their wedding days if they feel personal happiness, they will assure you they do. This truth is both good and bad news.
Once the last child leaves the nest, couples are confronted head on by the lack of connection to each other. What gives with these long-term, seemingly successful marriages coming to an apparent surprising halt?
The main problem, as I see it, is the belief that personal happiness is incompatible with marriage. Not acknowledging this third possibility plays into the fears many young people have about the whole idea about marriage as an option for them.Suggested site content and search history menu.
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